Old People Problems

   Yesterday I sat at someone's desk to take a look at an issue they had been having with their laptop. I'm not that young anymore and my back is not what it used to be. When I stood up, I felt the most intense pain I've ever felt from my lower back, down the backs of my legs, all the way to the heels of my feet. It was staggering. I held my ground assuming it'd subside in a couple of seconds. 3 seconds into it, I realize this pain is not going to go away and ease back into the chair. It was then that I remembered I had been holding in a poop for a couple of hours...panic. "Did I just do the unthinkable? This isn't even my chair!" The back pain was gone almost right away and I was able to stand. I tight legged it all the way to the restroom to assess the damage. The coast was clear, I kept that butthole tight.

I explained all of this to my girlfriend today while trying to figure out what caused the pain and she responds with this: "Maybe you pinched a nerve? Idk. And then thought you pinched a loaf?"

We were definitely meant for eachother. 

The entire convo, for your entertainment:

Sarah 1:52 PM
A bath sounds good. From the sounds of things, we both have fucked up backs right now.
Cesar 1:54 PM
I don't know what that was about. It had never happened and to be honest, I was scared I pooped a little bit from the pain
I giggled and felt sad about that statement all at the same time
hahaha
Sarah 1:57 PM
Oh my god. Should I feel sad for you or should I laugh at you?
Not in your pants, right?
Poo stories are always funny, but back pain is no laughing matter.
Cesar 1:59 PM
The pain was so bad I thought I shit myself
Luckily, I did not
Went to the potty and checked
Sarah 2:00 PM
Oh. Awwwww
My poor love.
Cesar 2:00 PM
The thing is
My back doesn't hurt
Sarah 2:01 PM
What hurts?
Cesar 2:01 PM
So when I sat at that desk for 5 minutes, I stood up and was totally not expecting the pain
Sarah 2:01 PM
What did the guy do?
Cesar 2:02 PM
It was a chick
And she had left
Nobody saw me
Thank god
Sarah 2:02 PM
Maybe you pinched a nerve? Idk. And then thought you pinched a loaf?
Cesar 2:03 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAH
Sarah 2:03 PM
I have water in my mouth that I can't swallow because I'm laughing
Cesar 2:03 PM
That's going on Facebook RIGHT NOW
Sarah 2:04 PM
Sorry.
Hahaha!!
I'm glad your sense of humor is fucked up like mine.
But I'm sorry you were hurt.